I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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