Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
