i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i dont even know how to be here
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
