Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
