I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
