I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
