So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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