Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Your penis caused this!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
