i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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