made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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