im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize