yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
