...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
