he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
