i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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