Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
