I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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