i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
