**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
