i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
