i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
