he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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