I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
