I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
