whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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