my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
