DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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