It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
