I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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