last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
