shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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