My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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