Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
