Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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