This is not my ceiling
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
