That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
