It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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