my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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