New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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