...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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