I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Randomize
