I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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