I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
