You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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