i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
