ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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