I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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