This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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