is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
How's work?
Spinning.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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