So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
