I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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