dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I think I died a long time ago.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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