I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Sober January is a disaster.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize