Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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