The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
