Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
