would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
