am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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