Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
