Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
