So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
